It is hard to share my thought with anyone recently, its not like none there to listen, it is more about me dont want to talk or share it with anyone
My mind about relationship, friendship and family has changed a lot
I do look at my family in another way, better way
I do look at my relationship in another way, I am happy
I look at my friendship in another way, there are things I feel really annoyed when I was around my friends but I chose not to say a word. It is because I know that whatever I say will not lead to a good result so I decide to just ignore it
So here, I find myself being alone, but somehow, I dont feel sad, there are moments in life where things change and I dont know what to do about it except let it be, I believe there are good moments and bad moments, when the bad moment comes, just walk away, take a nap, things will be alright when I wake up
I do see myself sharing my thought with Natasha who I have not ever met in real life, I can tell her everything without any judgement from her (well, at least I dont know about it)
I realized that I dont have things in common with An or Becky when we talk about relationship where they believe in marriage for this age and I dont. I am not upset, it is just like you are hanging out with people who has kids and you have no ideas what they talk about when they mentions about raising-a-kid’s problem.
They has passed the stage where they want to be free, to be alone and now they want a family. I have never had any living alone time for me to feel that I am done with it. I find that might be the difference
I know what I want, I know what people want, and it is totally different things what we want in our life at this stage, and I am ok with it.
After the trip to Sweden, after keeping PWI survive for 2 years, I realized that we, human, can do a lot of thing. I am setting up new goal, bigger, much bigger than just traveling and having fun.
This year I will have to do sth big to make real money and then I can get the freedom I want. A friend of mine once said that he believed I could do something big as long as I dont have kids before 35s. I cant picture me as a mother anytime soon but I can see myself grow up with our business.
My relationship is going well and its a good base for me to grow with our business.
Such a beautiful dream last night I have
I wake up this morning and I am finding the way to make it true.
The dream started with I won lottery ticket and build up the 1st serviced apartment, all of my beloved people have a role in that business
It just keeps on going and at the end we were building another big serviced apartment with big investors from oversea.
I am just thinking, it can be true, I just need some money to start up with
It was a crazy week for my work
I was talking with a friend of mine, chit chat about how my company is doing and they said “wow, you make money so easy”. I cant help but wonder if my work is really easy.
I guess whoever said it isnt working in the same field, and to confirm, my job is not an easy job.
I chosen to work in this field and I admit that I really enjoy working on it, seeing it grow but it has never been an easy business
When you are in the middle of anything, you will have to take pressure and always get ready to fix problems from both parties.
Sometimes, I got lucky to meet nice client and responsible partners, but it is not easy to find those and it is rare.
I have experienced these:
1. Partners suddenly disappear and leave me with a mess
2. Client suddenly changed their mind for detail that they have made and blame you on doing it so fast!?!
3. Client is dead when my work has done and didnt get paid
Today, I experienced that even I have done my work perfectly, there still can be problem. I have got a few complains from client when I have to delay the deadline or can not complete my work, but today, really, my client complain that I have done my work and they are not ready to receive this news ?!?
To me, it does not matter if they are ready on Monday or Friday, I have done the job that they asked for with perfectly deadline but they said “Well, this isnt true, you can not do it, it is Vietnam, how can you meet the deadline, I am not paying”
Well, I dont think anyone can help, I better get back to work and solve the problems on my own.
I am really unhappy
Nothing is going the way I want
I just go around and find myself being down and out
I have been watching the brilliant show Extras and I am totally in love with Ricky Gervais, and no joke but I do think if there is a chance I meet him, I will try to get that guy
Today I went to Wiki and I found out 2 things: he was born in 1961 and his long term relationship with Jane Fallon started since 1982
These two numbers really bother me, it means Ricky is same age with my father and he starts his love relationship since I was born.
Well, Ricky, I am a huge fan, I like you very much and I stop dreaming now
LOL
It s not a good day today, again.
Woke up with a big headache, I took medicine to prevent car sick and I didnt work but it seems to work now, I feel sleepy all day.
Answered some emails, arrange some meetings with clients and then go for lunch with a friend, I had a good laugh with him as always, that was the only thing that is good today I think
I went to the Honda store to fix my motorbike:
- Please fix it, and this and that. How much it cost and how long can I get my motorbike back?
- It will be around 100K but it might be more, we need to check it and see.
- Ok when can I pick up my motorbike?
- Oh, anytime
- Anytime? So can I pick it up in 15 min?
- No.
After lunch, I went to Ngoc Anh to get massage, it was good, the girl gave me some new massage action, I like it very much but it s sore now. Must be sth went wrong
After that I went and buy the new headset for my music player.
- Can I try this Sony headset?
- No you cant
- So how come i buy it without trying it?
- Well, its good
- How can I know it s good if I dont try it? What if its not good?
- Well, its good, if it s broke, you can return it.
- I am not talking about if its broken, I am talking about what if the sound isnt good?
- Hmm… you cant try it. Oh you can try this one.
- But I dont want that one, I want the Sony one
- You can not try it, you can try it if you agree to buy it
…
Just so weird how I couldnt sleep well very well in my bed recently, maybe something to do with the AC in my room, isnt it cool enough. I dont know
Also, my facial skin has gone bad for no reason, maybe I need to start wearing mask when I go out in the sun now
Well, nothing much I can update to you, my dear blog: nothing news with work, business is good with expat.vn, our main project is very close to finishing and I am happy overall
My sister will have her interview for visa to USA next month, lets pray for it. I know how nervous she could get when it comes to interview, test, exam. I truly hope she will pass it.
My trip to China has been delayed until… maybe next Jan.
I have been partying too much recently. I was thinking of relaxing weekend at home then I got invited to a live music show on Sat night, an old friend, I think I gotta go to be nice.
It was very cute of you to sing “Happy birthday” song in Chinese to me. I really appreciated it.
It has been more than 1 week since you left SGN and yes, it was a bit weird to hear that you already got some “lucks” with other girls in Shanghai, eventhough it is not serious but I felt sad … just a bit
You have said that was a wrong decision to move to Shanghai but you know you chosen to go there and my bad of not going with you
Maybe it wasnt meant to be
I will always remember the lame ascuse you used to call me on the phone the very 1st time
I will always remember how happy you looked when I accepted to go on the 1st day
I will always remember how happy you were when I got “jealous” with your workmate
I will always remember how you didnt want to answer all of my questions
I will always remember your smart and mature saying
I will always sorry for making you listening to my problem with work with ex boyfriend
I will always remember the way you flirt and being cute
I will always remember all good things about you
I realized that done is done, and we can undo it.
There are some moments I missed, there are some nightmares I had had.
There were love, happiness and there were tears, hurt, disapointment.
There were forgiving but there are some unforgotten.
I did loved you and you were a big part of my life.
There are some facts that we have gone from love to something else, not love, not friend, it is something in the middle and it is something that we dont know how to call it, I just feel it.
There are some discussions we will never meet at the point where both of us are satisfied.
Just know, the past is the past, nothing can be changed and the goal is our future, maybe your future will not include me and mine will not include you and it does not mean that we can not be both happy.
Someday, we might sit down and talked about our old times, we might not talk about how we loved each other but some current conflict will be a joke for both of us, we will laugh and it will gone…forever.
Sometime in a day, I wish that thing had happened differently but I believe that things always happen for a reason.
As soon as I open the curtain and the sun stares right at me, I regret
I regret that I have come out last night after I got your phone call
I regret for what I was feeling for the past 7 months
I blame myself for being stupid and childish
I can not image seeing myself like that, I become stronger after 2 years and there are some good things come along in term of business but I see myself changing, I change for some pain that caused me months and still can not get over it
I blame myself for being slow of the moving on process
I blame myself for making such clumsy decision for the last week
I could not ever image our last meeting became that ugly with insulting and all of the bad argument
I lost my self respect
As I always say, I live and I learn, but this experience is way too expensive
I just want to go to bed and dont even wake up the next day
I just want to run away from reality and dont pick up any phone calls or any conversation of someone who cares about me
This time, I know it is not simple as “sh*t happens!?!” anymore
I am soo regret and this is sooo over!!!!
I will have to read this blog every single day and learn!!!!